Am I a Hero Now?
by Saccharo
Summary: She hated him.  A lot.  The way he would annoy her, the way he would always boast.  In fact, she wished for him to be dead.  She wouldn't mind at all about his death.  She wouldn't care if he did.  But what happened if he DID die...?


**A few days ago, I beat Crisis Core and saw the ending. It was really sad when Zack died (I was crying a lot. Poor Cloud…). But it also influenced me to write a one-shot and HERE it is!**

**Anyways, hope you enjoy the one-shot!**

**XD**

**…**

Lightning walked up to the lonely yet precious gravestone on the cliff, watching blankly as the clouds slowly floated in the sky. Waves crashed behind the cliff's rough boulders and water slightly sprayed on Lightning's body. New Bodhum's beach seemed much more beautiful than last time, despite the hollow feeling in her heart. She stopped in front of the marble statue and let the small drops of water douse on her skin, enjoying the feeling of the ocean air freshening through her pink, long hair.

It wasn't enough.

"Sorry that I couldn't visit you sooner… you know how things are, right…?" Lightning felt stupid as she talked-she was talking in front of a grave, a place where the dead won't hear her or see her.

She didn't care.

"Guess what? Your family is doing well… Sylvia is all grown up and she's about to enter first grade soon. Serah's still being a teacher-you should be proud. She's… she's doing very well… peppy and a little annoying… but she's helpful to me… and… and I'm really grateful…"

The grave said nothing.

Lightning let out a sigh and sat down, placing one knee on the ground, not caring if her clothes got wet.

"Sazh is still doing his job… and I admit, but he's getting kind of… well-_old_…" Lightning couldn't help but laugh, "And Dajh is getting ready for fifth grade, too. He's growing up… in fact-everyone is growing up, including me." She laughed again and plucked some thin, strands of grass from the ground, letting it fall on the ground.

"Hope is thinking of joining GC or maybe even NORA… I'm really proud of him and you should be, too. NORA is handling things fine and Gadot is kind of pissed at Maqui for accidently throwing his phone in the toilet…" Lightning barked out another laugh and she continued picking up grass.

But the grave still said nothing.

"As for myself…" Lightning let out another sigh before speaking, "Killing off Pulse monsters isn't fun anymore. I enjoyed it when I was little, but it's not fun now. But I really don't care. As long as everyone is safe, I'm fine with that. I'm getting better at cooking now-well, that's what Hope says…" Lightning stared at the grave, wanting for the words printing on it to disappear.

She read it only once and she didn't want to read it again.

"Everyone-including me, are working hard, but we're all fine with that. NORA is doing great, Hope is doing great, Sazh and Dajh are doing great, Serah-" Lightning felt her lips dry as she tried to choke out the words, "Serah… and Sylvia… are doing great…" Lightning hoped that a ghost would pop out of the gravestone so that it could comfort her. Yet, she knew that it was impossible.

And no ghost left the grave.

Lightning had to swallow her breath as she tried to hold back a stinging pain in her eyes.

"I'm… I'm doing great… did you know that… that I was there at the café with Serah…?" Lightning wiped a tear that rolled down her cheek, "I… I had a break from work and Serah said that once you're done dealing with the Behemoth, then you would come to the café and we would all eat and chat…" She wiped another tear that streaked down her other cheek, "And we waited until the café had to close. You didn't come back. We waited for a really long time until we realized that there was something wrong… Serah and I thought you just went home and slept. You wouldn't believe how much disappointed Serah was. Me? I was really pissed off. We went back home and then… we saw Hope. He got word from Gadot that… that… that you _died_…"

She was unable to hold back the tears, but she continued fighting.

"You wouldn't believe how much Serah was crying. Sylvia was home and she was already crying when we came home. They were hysterical… it was hard calming them down. Hope was crying, too. Everyone was crying…" Lightning laughed lightly as she spoke, slightly tasting the saltiness of the water dripping down her eyes, "But guess what? Serah still visits that same café on Sunday, since that was the day you… you left… and for breakfast, she would always cook your favorite dishes…" Lightning was wondering how she started crying, but the thought was overwhelmed by a sudden sadness. "You… you told me that you would do anything to protect Serah and your family, but I understand now. I don't blame you for that… but it still pisses me off, you know…?"

The grave said nothing.

"You told me how careless I was before… I understand why. I… I hope I'm not careless now… and… and I hope that you're happy where you are… wherever you are. It's really difficult without you… and I mean _really _hard. There isn't a moment where Serah or even I don't think about you. But strangely… it's never sad…" Lightning felt water pouring down her face, her clothes lightly soaked from the water near her and the gravestone, "I never think about you when you're fighting a Behemoth or when you were unconscious… I think of how stupid you are… all the times when you would boast that you can kill monsters when you can't… all the times when I would punch you for unnecessary reasons… and… and when you would ask me dumb questions…" Lightning laughed again, brushing some flowing pink strands of hair from her face, tears still trickling down her eyes like rivers. She sat there for a while, staring at the wide, endless blue ocean, watching the sun setting down on the horizon, red and orange-yellow streaks covering the blue skies. Lightning wondered how long she stayed on the cliff.

After a long while, she stood up and dusted off her legs. She stared at the white gravestone and noticed some white, diamond-shaped flowers growing closely in front of the small statue. She dropped the bouquet of identical, pure white flowers in front of the gravestone, some petals flying out. Tears still tickled her skin as they trailed down to her chin, her cheeks pink from the overwhelming sadness. She couldn't help but smile widely at the grave, ignoring the water falling down her face.

"Did you know how many questions you've asked about that? Gadot told me the same thing for you before... before you left-'Am I a hero now?'" Lightning bit her lip to try to dispel the pain growing in her heart. She felt as if strong arms were securing her body, hugging her so tightly yet barely. "I've heard that so much when you were around..."

The gravestone seemed to say something, but she couldn't quite hear it.

Lightning closed her eyes again and let the water fall from her chin, listening to the sounds of the waves hitting the cliff and the shrieks from the flying seagulls. She let out another sigh and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand, erasing the tears.

"I… I can see why you love this place…" She muttered quietly as she stared at the waves, enjoying the way they cool her body. Lightning bit her lip lightly and altered her sapphire gaze back at the gravestone, watching the white flowers dancing from the ocean's breeze.

It was strange though. Ever since they met, Lightning developed a grudge against him just because of stupid reasons. She admit that she was jealous that Serah had a person that she could stick with, but it left her still unsettled. But after seeing how much he loves her dear, younger sister, Lightning finally understood. She will never break them apart no matter what. It bothered her, but not by much. But even after Cocoon was saved, she still hated him. Of how annoying he is, of how stupid he is... and everything about him. Yet, it didn't bother her anymore. He didn't seem to be an annoying person. In fact, it felt like years ago. She missed him. By a lot. But even though he's gone, he's still there. Always there for Serah, Sylvia, Hope, and everyone...

Including her.

For once, she didn't even bother to conceal her tears.

"_Am I a hero now, Sis…?"_

"Yes you are, Snow."

And she laughed again, the tears continuing to fall down.

**…**

**This one-shot just suddenly popped out of my mind and I'm not wishing for Snow to die (Besides Lightning)! I just... felt like writing it...**

**XD**


End file.
